Never Have I Ever

I’d love for you to stop and take a moment to reflect on how many things to which you’ve responded: “I (never would/never could/never should/will fail if I) do that”. 



Actually stop and think about it for a second.


What comes to mind?


     - That time you saw a beautiful girl and wanted to just walk up and boldly ask her on a date but didn’t have the balls because you assumed she’d shoot you down?

     - How you keep wanting to start working out, but every time you walk into a gym you see a bunch of ripped ass dudes and chicks redefining the potential for yoga pants and decide to say "fuck that noise" (pro tip: super ripped people had to start somewhere too)?

     - The time you passed on some foreign cuisine you were offered because you assumed it would be gross based on its looks even though your friend assured you it was delicious?

     - Maybe you tell everyone you know that you would never go skydiving because “You don’t want to die” when deep down you desperately want to try it.

     - Or how about that hobby or passion project you think about every day but assume you could never make a viable business out of because it doesn’t look like a traditional job and there would be risk involved. 

Honestly, I don’t believe it’s intentional. I think it starts with putting something on the back burner and saying we’ll get to it one day. Then life happens and we keep on keeping on. We become comfortable in our routines and eventually over time things that would have once been small steps out of our comfort zone become daunting mountains to climb.

I’ve always been a pretty open minded person. Then this Christmas my mom gave me a book about doing something every day that scares you. For me, pushing my comfort zone tends to be less of an “I would never” and more of an “I won’t enjoy that” kind of issue, but I’ve still tried to take the principle to heart. I’ve been consciously forcing myself to be intentional in being open-minded to things that might be outside of my typical wheelhouse, and I have to tell you, it’s been pretty damn rad. And the cool part is that most of them aren't ridiculous outlandish things. It’s been an exercise that’s so simple but so refreshing at the same time.

Some of the things for me so far this year:

     * Doing a downtown New Year’s party with 150,000 people - For a guy who’s favorite thing is being in front of people, being in a crowd really stresses me out

     * Singing karaoke - I’m sure this is odd, considering singing is my job, but it’s always been a weird thing for me. I always want to have control over how a performance is going to go and karaoke throws up a middle finger to that

    * Dancing my ass off in a New York club till 4 am - I suck balls at dancing. I wish I didn’t, but this is one of those things that I always find a way to never find the time to improve upon

     * Talking to strangers - This is one I’m constantly trying to work on. I’m usually pretty good at being able to find some common ground when I’m introduced to new people, but the cold intro on my own is something that I’m wanting to improve upon.

It’s crazy how much fun I ended up having doing all of those things when in the past I would have written all of them off before I tried. It’s not a rocket science kind of thing and it won’t be the same for everyone, but I’d encourage you to try some new things. Even if the seem small, every time you try something new you grow and gain a new experience and learn a little more about yourself and the world.

Email me and let me know some of the things you try and how they ended up working out for you!

I put out a new music video this week and I'd love for you guys to check it out and share it!


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Vance Fite

Musican // Co-host @ The Music Stuff Show // Creative Swiss Army Knife